white coats and stethoscopes

the above tools which now mean very little to me other than I own them and so do doctors.... but I get to pretend sometimes... walking down the halls at school wearing my white coat on-- a symbol that we all understand must be some indication of knowledge and prestige... two things of which I feel I have very few of either compared to what I might have, someday. After taking and passing four medical school exams, I feel a bit more confident and sure that I'm where I belong...and working with patients was the reminder I needed to remeber how much I love it--all of it, although 100 pages of biochemistry notes will be calling my name and consuming my time this weekend. Anatomy has also been kicked into high gear... the upper limb is much more complicated than the back was, you just try learning the roots, trunks, divisions, chords and branches of the brachial plexus nerves after taking a histology exam this morning and let me know how you feel....alas, I lie... and I digress, because I LOVE it.... ALL of it.... even the WORST of it. I am sure of it-- this is what I was MEANT to do.

today I got to use my stethoscope to listen to the heart and lungs of 5th graders during school physicals at a local elementary.... it made me think of something I've seldom realized before... I like working with kids. Of course I want to be a mom someday, and I love spending time w/ my nieces and nephews and the children of friends, I was just pleasantly surprised to enjoy the company, in a medical sense, of 5th graders. Did I mention I love this job? oh wait, I don't have this job yet.... maybe peds? eh, still too early to tell.

this past week has been somewhat of a rollercoaster, personally speaking... I had a bit too much to drink last friday and ended up falling while taking a shortcut through the cemetery (yes, I know, creepy) next to campus with some friends... my legs got terribly scratched, and they're still painful.... it was none other than my own fault, and maybe the partial fault of the platform wedge shoes I was wearing. sigh. I take the situation as symbolic... the fight, struggle and partial failure of finding some kind of balance between studying and taking time to spend with friends and having fun... med school must come first, but I refuse to give up the things and the people that I care about... let me just say that and maybe it will become the reality of my life that I have been struggling with (but still succeeding) in holding up so far.

k

p.s.
I have not forgotten the things I love in life, and have recently found more to add to the list... lo and behold, a link that could only be appreciated by those females who know and understand the fascination and love of custom designed purses, even when you already own a closetful-- lisa lill, you can order on the website, her only stores are located in the Midwest.

p.p.s.
Things I LOVE about Kirksville:
1. we have fall leaves!
2. milk in glass bottles from a local dairy
3. the farmer's market every week on saturday morning
4. being able to walk pretty much anywhere I'd want to go in town
5. snow! I'll get back to you on that one once we get some! :)

it's a new month, it's a new life

wow, I have survived 2 weeks of med school....

let me just say there are almost no words to describe all of the emotions, so maybe I'll just start by telling you a little bit about Kirksville for those of you stuck in AZ and TX (if you're reading this, I miss you Mo-Mo!) ! It's not a big town, but it's got plenty of charm, and people are good here, the kind to return a lost wallet with all of the cash inside.

There are a lot of good places to eat here. No, it's not Phoenix, and unfortunately, there's no sushi here But, there are also few fun bars to go to, it's just a matter of avoiding the "townie" bars, the ones where you walk in and everyone turns to look at you... because you're so out of place, you know, those people that grew up here and plan on living here for the rest of their lives.

I LOVE my apartment! it is charming, hard to believe I can have a 2 bedroom place all to myself for $350/mont plus electric (another $30-50), that is one of the great things about living in a small town is lower cost of living. It's also nice not to have to worry about working, just being a med student is enough, trust me!!

Med school is like being smacked in the face with a bag of bricks. No, really. Just in the respect that they slam you with a TON of information, and it all comes at you faster than you're comfortable with, so that it's pretty much impossible to ever know IT ALL. The important thing is prioritizing and understanding the concepts, along with IMPORTANT details, not EVERY detail. Example: I have a biochem test next week, therefore, this weekend I will focus my studying on biochem. In 2 weeks from Monday, we have our 1st anatomy (written) exam, but I've been keeping up on that on a daily basis, there is just too much to know to let it go for too long. But needless to say, the classes are more challenging than anything I've ever had before, but also more interesting! Yay! I've finally reached the point where my education meets up with what I want to do with my life. It's difficult, but it's amazing, and I'm living it and loving it.

Oh anatomy, anatomy, you can think all you want that you know what it's like to slice into a dead body, but you just don't until you do it. I never REALLY knew what it would be like, and at first it was a little nerve-wracking, not knowing what you're doing, not knowing how deep to cut, not knowing what to really expect when you uncover tissue, muscle, bone. It's amazing how we are all a little different from that anatomy atlas, just enough to make each of us a little bit of an anomaly. Gross anatomy is such an important class, simply because it helps to understand how everything is put together. You can think of organs and systems as acting as separate entities, but seeing it all put together, and how things connect, really helps you to see why the osteopathic philosophy is so true, that is all body systems are affected by other systems... if a disease or problem is present in one somatic or visceral system, it can effect another somatic or visceral structure, an example being referred jaw pain during an MI and many others.

I was surprised to discover how much I really am enjoying OMM(osteopathic manipulative medicine.) I went in to med school just wanting to be a physician, and thought it would be cool to learn OMM, but never was really THAT thrilled about it. After having labs and lectures on it (yes, we get to "practice" on each other) it is such a useful tool in helping a physician understand what is going on in a patient's body. Dysfunction on the inside can be understood by feeling the outside with a few simple techniques, and fixed by some more difficult ones (which I have not learned yet! ) needless to say, osteopathic medicine is definitely the right path for me! I'm still more confused as ever on the specialty question though! I haven't reached my calling for what kind of doctor I will be. It will come to me, because, well, it must!

Overall, this experience is incredible, I wish you could all be here with me!

k