are we all lost?
Some people swear by it... they will never be like their friends, never make the same mistakes and decisions that they can see are so wrong... yet we all end up in the same place.
There are about four friends of mine that are all in the same situation I'm finding myself in as of late. We've all recently graduated to find ourselves unable to find a better job than one that we've held while going through undergrad. sigh.
Are we just not worth what we think we're worth, or is there something more? Is it really our fault we can't find a job that will pay us more than twenty five thousand dollars a year? But it's not just the money... at least for me, it's more the monotony... It's the frustration that I'm not doing what I want to be doing with my career, at least, not yet.
Then there's the loneliness... Then the realization that getting out of undergrad is really an awkward time in life, so no wonder it's depressing. You're moving out of your parents' place, taking a step away from your position in that family, but you don't have your own family yet either. I'm not saying I'd go out tomorrow and marry some random guy just to have a family, but there's a lot to be said for not feeling like you belong anywhere anymore.
And going out... puh-leeze... like I'm ever going to find someone I'll ever relate to at a bar... It's just so lame and empty to even try. Maybe I'm just a grinch or a loner, but I won't play that game. I'm too old for that. People at bars are only looking to hook up, for something they'll never get from me. I guess I'll save them the trouble by not showing up.
I just have to keep reminding myself that there's more out there for me than that, but it's hard to stand up straight and keep believing that when you can never seem to keep your grip on it, and it slips away... here today, gone tomorrow. Was it ever really there, was it even mine to touch?
I need consistency. All women do. We're completely insecure... all of us, thinking if you don't call or write, surely you've found someone smarter, prettier, skinnier, sweeter. We need constant reassurance that your feelings haven't changed, while men are more likely not to say anything unless something actually has changed.
We're all lost in stumbling words and mumbles, but more so in what we don't say.
So what can we do but go on. get up for work tomorrow and keep going. somewhere.
k
There are about four friends of mine that are all in the same situation I'm finding myself in as of late. We've all recently graduated to find ourselves unable to find a better job than one that we've held while going through undergrad. sigh.
Are we just not worth what we think we're worth, or is there something more? Is it really our fault we can't find a job that will pay us more than twenty five thousand dollars a year? But it's not just the money... at least for me, it's more the monotony... It's the frustration that I'm not doing what I want to be doing with my career, at least, not yet.
Then there's the loneliness... Then the realization that getting out of undergrad is really an awkward time in life, so no wonder it's depressing. You're moving out of your parents' place, taking a step away from your position in that family, but you don't have your own family yet either. I'm not saying I'd go out tomorrow and marry some random guy just to have a family, but there's a lot to be said for not feeling like you belong anywhere anymore.
And going out... puh-leeze... like I'm ever going to find someone I'll ever relate to at a bar... It's just so lame and empty to even try. Maybe I'm just a grinch or a loner, but I won't play that game. I'm too old for that. People at bars are only looking to hook up, for something they'll never get from me. I guess I'll save them the trouble by not showing up.
I just have to keep reminding myself that there's more out there for me than that, but it's hard to stand up straight and keep believing that when you can never seem to keep your grip on it, and it slips away... here today, gone tomorrow. Was it ever really there, was it even mine to touch?
I need consistency. All women do. We're completely insecure... all of us, thinking if you don't call or write, surely you've found someone smarter, prettier, skinnier, sweeter. We need constant reassurance that your feelings haven't changed, while men are more likely not to say anything unless something actually has changed.
We're all lost in stumbling words and mumbles, but more so in what we don't say.
So what can we do but go on. get up for work tomorrow and keep going. somewhere.
k
posted by Kim at 9:42 PM
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