just to be here...

Trapped... inside a house, inside a job, inside a book, inside a song, inside myself, and worse... inside my head.
When more makes sense outside than within... are we unmistakably lost?
As these metaphoric walls close in around me, I look for the faith, purity and charm that might not be so easily recognized. An enigma is surely more fascinating than a tell-all... and why is it one person can make the world seem easier, better, and lovelier than before? More importantly--do I have it in me to be that person to someone?
It's easier to be alone when you're with others. This idea in itself is not a contradiction, although it might be seemingly so. People, however, can be. Am I but a speaking, thinking, reading, writing contradiction? Sometimes I wonder if it's all just a fabrication, courtesy of our imagination, giving us complexes and singling out the quirks from the abhorrences that are so "socially unacceptable."
I fear all of the normal things to fear in life. I fear that time will not bring the things I seek... I fear maybe I don't know if the things I seek are really what I want... but will I ever know until I have or don't have them?
When I bother to look, will I still care, or will I have already settled?
Consistence. Persistence. Compliance. Reliance. Faith.
let us hope it all adds up

k