ghosts from the past

Why is it that we get an odd dropping sensation in our stomachs when we discover someone from our past has turned out to be incredibly... successful? I stumbled upon the website of a friend from high school who used to be amazing in all things in art. It turns out he majored in graphic design at ASU and then got an incredible offer to be the director of a television station in Ohio... I haven't spoken to him in years, so let us just say he is removed enough to be a mystery to me at this point.

Some blossom sooner than others. Some never blossom. I pray I'll never be in that second category.

Don't get me wrong, I don't mean to undermine the fact that I'm graduating with a bachelor's degree with my disappointment. However, those of us whose goal professions require at least a few more years of training will agree, it feels pretty damn useless until it actually proves to get you there! (and if even then...) It feels like I might as well have graduated from high school again-- having no specific vocational training and just a "general direction." (I know, I know...all my fault!) Then again, it can't be HS, because now I'm forced to be (gasp!) an adult, when all I want is matching furniture (which I can't afford yet) for my pink house, which I will be obligated to share thanks to my meager full-time salary. I'm a materialist. It's disgusting. With hope, someday I'll be over it.

yikes.

I'm not a pessimist, I'm a realist. (that is after all what pessimists say, you know)
I need to throw myself a bone here... and this presents itself to be quite a feat to accomplish when you're on your own.

k