reality strikes

another hour, another day, another week, another month...
it's amazing how little some things change, how much others can, just in a few short months.
It would be interesting to see how my life might unfold if I wasn't in it... now don't think of this b.s. as a suicide attempt... sometimes being so damn literal might be cause, however.
Writing and writing for hours about why I might want to be a doctor gets really old... and then you get over it. Spinning this wheel over and over again in my mind, just wondering what might be in store for the next year of my life... and then remembering how fortune cookie says: the best investment you can make is in yourself.
This might be relatively close to the truth. At least while depending on yourself, there's no one else to blame when things go wrong. All you can do (in the grand Shakespearian tradition) is curse your own fate and eventually resign yourself to whatever that might be. Putting up a fight usually only ends with the same sort of resignation after all.
I'm on the brink... waiting to know...
what's important in life is usually breathing, and it helps if they think of you on a not-so-occasional basis. If only thoughts could materialize... I'd have built myself a castle by now, with a whole population to occupy it.
k